Sacred Space: Gloria's house
January 8, 2017 - Upper West Side, New York City
A gathering of visionaries, feminists, artists, entrepreneurs, women, friends. We laughed, shared stories, listened, debated, encouraged, questioned, advised.
This coven of women (+1 guest) came together, in the midst of a Sunday night NYC blizzard, each and all of us held with love in the sacred space that had hosted countless groups of women over the decades. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the scope of the many women who’d come before us.
I remember how we all shared our hopes for what we’d find and accomplish in a year’s time. I remember the clarity of those conversations, the relief at being with people whose language I shared. I remember taking a phone call from a very disrespectful boyfriend, and the sad yet understanding looks from the women who knew exactly what I was going through — and that they knew that I knew better. I remember sitting next to an friend from across the river in New Jersey, telling her how I was struggling with turning 40, with trying to understand how I’d be able to have a family — if that’s even what I wanted. And I remember her, a mother of two, looking me right in the eye and saying, “Lisa… don’t do it. It’s not worth it.” Words I hung on to for comfort over the years since then, in moments of doubt when I wondered why it hadn’t happened for me — and those words were there to remind me that there is also value in the path that I was on.
I remember walking through the rooms of that massive brownstone, making my way to the restroom at the back. I passed an incredible collection of books, and walls full of artwork that was no doubt largely created by friends, acquaintances, and fans of the homeowner.
It was a normal bathroom with regular, banal things like medication bottles, a brush, toothpaste. I paused when I noticed the hand towel with lovely little hand-embroidered design, pretty flowers and the name of the person whose home it was, spelled out in sweet little cursive letters:
Gloria
There was something so everyday, so fragile, so lovely about it. I found it incredible that the woman whose self-expression created this little supernormal misc en place was the same fierce intellectual who brought feminism to the masses and changed the world. Gloria. So sweet and pretty and real, so larger-than-life and powerful.
And I remember that when I finally said goodbye and stepped out onto the sidewalk on that silent, snowy night — a few steps later, when I turned the corner onto Fifth Avenue, stretching ahead of me was the most incredible scene: NYC in silence, snowflakes cascading down amongst the buildings, only the empty street. I looked uptown, then back downtown — 2 am on a snowstorm Sunday, not a soul nor a cab in sight. Just me. I’d landed in a magical moment with no way to get where I was going, and there was nothing to do but walk. I made my way toward downtown, trudging through the deep snow, completely alone n the middle of the snowy street in the middle of the night, hearing only my footsteps in the snow for the longest time, feeling grateful for the moment, marveling at the intense beauty of it all.
Eventually I hopped into a limping cab, and then walked into the door of the cheesy midtown Irish bar to meet up with that boyfriend… and then continued walking through the rest of that phase of my life. But the energy of that night’s cocoon, the one that Gloria’s home provided, never left me.
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Thank you, Ms. Steinem, for living the life you have. For lending your brilliance, talent, and tireless work to the world. For paving the way for many women just like me, and the others that gathered in your living room, and the generations that will follow us. Thank you for the gift of your home and your spirit on this unforgettable night.
And thank you also: Carly, Chelo, Kate, Leah, Jen, Liz, and the rest of you. I’ll never forget our time together, as long as I live. One day soon that little notebook will resurface, and I’ll share with you the resolutions that we made that night. If only we could all get back together back in that warm space to do it. I am now and forever wishing all you wonderful women the best.
